Me circa 1975, eating dirt, well before I arrived at my current 3 story physical stature. The finest proof I can offer that pica is not dangerous and that I truly like things that taste like dirt.
Here’s an interview I conducted of myself:
Interviewer: So, another stupid, douchey wine blog, huh?
Me: Yeah, I guess I did this because I figured there wasn’t really anything quite like this out there yet, and it’d be fun trying to inject this new tone into the wine community. I want it to be like an academic journal on some level, but profane, raucous, and fun.
Interviewer: Why are you calling wines “gargantuan” when you’re not talking about big wines like Aussie Shiraz or Napa Cabs at all? What are you, stupid? Huh? Huh??
Me: Oh, it’s simple. Because I typically hate those wines, and they play no role in my life. My experience tasting the majority of those wines is tantamount to being raped by some cartoon trio; to wit:
— an angry piece of lumber,
— an industrial, mass-produced anonymous jam, and
— a cheap vodka.
We need to rethink gargantuan. A gargantuan wine is not a big wine, it is a balanced, gourmand wine. It’s a wine that will pour continuously; a wine that we will drink in case denominations.
Big bruiser boozer wines can not be drunk in a gargantuan manner. Thankfully, we may be exiting the era of their critical reign.
Give me a cold climate, where vines struggle to ripen and aren’t irrigated. Give me those 12.5% or lower ABV wines; give me reasonable oak regimens which don’t mask a delicious earthy, mineral, and unique wine, which can’t be confused with wine from anywhere else…and I’ll show you a gargantuan wine.
Interviewer: Ok. The other day you wrote something TOTALLY wrong. I mean, it was bad. Are you kidding? My God. How could you?! How dare you even write a blog!
Me: Ok, will you please calm down?
I consider myself a student of wine on a blissful, lifelong journey. My experience as a wine buyer, seller, or collector can never suffice when faced with the enormity of “things there are to know about wine”.
I like to drink, laugh, share, question, rant, curse, and hopefully elicit thoughtful discussion.
So, maybe if you put down the knife and take a last look at that baby picture of me eating dirt, we can do all of that together here.
If you wish to contact me for any reason, please do so below.