Tag: Darmok and Jalad

No One Wants Dark Rosé

What was the original offense that led every damned consumer to believe — unswervingly — that all darker-hued rosés are sweet?

It’s like some unwritten law. Among the pallets of rosé that do sell, it’s always the same thing … it’s gotta be pale.

I’ve quizzed customers on details about darker rosé’s Fall from Grace. What exactly was this first ‘sweet, dark’ rosé they found?  ‘I don’t know … I just find that darker rosés are too sweet’ is as far as our conversation gets, before the customer sprints to the register with a pale Provençal rosé.

Was it Sutter Home or Beringer White Zinfandel? Did some grandma pass every one of my customers aged 18-40 a glass of old, warm Beringer White Zin from a bottle sitting on her kitchen counter since before Obama?

The creature puts the Beringer White Zin on its palate.

White Zinfandel alone cannot explain this.

Are we in the same loose linguistic territory as Riesling — you say you object to sweet, but you actually mean fruity? And, if so, decoding your impoverished language further (it’s not your fault;  I know) what exactly was the unpleasant fruity rosé aroma?

I can make a conjecture. To a certain extent, I can relate to objections to rosé. And maybe even the sweetness bullshit.

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT, ANYWAY? (Click to Read more)